{"id":200,"date":"2016-03-07T10:06:44","date_gmt":"2016-03-07T10:06:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/healthytransitionsforgirls.com\/?p=200"},"modified":"2016-03-07T10:06:44","modified_gmt":"2016-03-07T10:06:44","slug":"why-do-my-friends-stress-me-out-so-much","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/walkonwatercoaching.com\/?p=200","title":{"rendered":"How Do I Deal With &#8220;Girl Drama?&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"width: 1200px;\" class=\"wp-video\"><!--[if lt IE 9]><script>document.createElement('video');<\/script><![endif]-->\n<video class=\"wp-video-shortcode\" id=\"video-200-1\" width=\"1200\" height=\"675\" preload=\"metadata\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"video\/mp4\" src=\"https:\/\/peggymcfarland.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/GroupLabels.mp4?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/peggymcfarland.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/GroupLabels.mp4\">https:\/\/peggymcfarland.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/GroupLabels.mp4<\/a><\/video><\/div>\n<p>Dr. Joy Miller PhD., LCPC, Joy Miller &amp; Associates, Private Practice, identified the following labels for the roles girls play in groups. <strong>Help your daughter to ask the herself the following questions: <\/strong>&#8220;<em>Which of these roles am I playing in my group of friends?&#8221; &#8220;Do I like the role I am playing?&#8221; &nbsp;&#8220;How can I change that role if it is causing me distress or going against my conscience?&#8221; &#8220;What support do I need to leave my group is that is the best choice?&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em>The Queen Bee<\/em>: &nbsp;I am the person who leads the pack. &nbsp;My way of feeling important is to make sure that I stay the leader, even if it means that I have to criticize or exclude others to do it. I need to make sure no one gets away with criticizing me or discovering that I am actually pretty insecure on the inside. I&#8217;ve had my own share of bullying and I&#8217;m going to make sure no one takes me down again.<\/li>\n<li><em>The Sidekick<\/em>: I am the best friend of the Queen Bee. My confidence comes from the fact that I&#8217;m a loyal insider, even if it means that I ignore how she criticizes or excludes other girls. In fact, I criticize other girls too, in order to show the Queen Bee what a good friend I am. I would like to be a leader, but don&#8217;t have the confidence to challenge the Queen Bee. Being her sidekick keeps me safe from being bullied by others and that&#8217;s all I care about.<\/li>\n<li><em>The Floater<\/em>: I typically move from group to group and don&#8217;t stick with one group. The reason I can do this is that I have learned how to get along with all types of people. Sometimes I get stressed because I worry that a particular group will decide they don&#8217;t like me anymore, but mostly, I have figured out how to be nice to everyone without getting caught up in group dramas. My humor and brains help me out a lot.<\/li>\n<li><em>The Banker<\/em>: I am the person who holds the &#8220;secrets&#8221; of the girls in the group. These &#8220;secrets&#8221; are like &#8220;currency&#8221; which I use to maintain my status in the group. I am good at getting friends to trust me with their confidences, but I&#8217;m not good at keeping confidences, especially if I think that sharing a piece of damaging gossip will keep me at the top of the group with the Queen Bee. I&#8217;ve gotten pretty good at little &#8220;white lies&#8221; to convince friends that I am loyal.<\/li>\n<li><em>The Torn Bystander<\/em>: I know there are some really mean things happening in my group of friends, but I don&#8217;t want to risk my place in the group to take a stand. &nbsp;I feel bad for girls who get targeted by the Queen Bee and other group insiders. &nbsp;I find myself caught in the middle alot, making excuses for things I know are mean. &nbsp;But what I am supposed to do? &nbsp;I would die if a bunch of rumors got spread around about me and I didn&#8217;t have any friends.<\/li>\n<li><em>The Wannabee<\/em>: I &#8220;wannabee&#8221; part of the group, but I am not really one of the accepted members. Sometimes I pick on girls who are being targeted by the group leaders to show that I am loyal, &nbsp;but I don&#8217;t know if they like me for sure or not. &nbsp;I am constantly thinking about what I can do to fit in.<\/li>\n<li><em>The Target<\/em>: I feel completely isolated and helpless. My life is miserable because of the constant humiliation I experience from mean girls. Why do I find myself in these situations? What&#8217;s wrong with me? I don&#8217;t know why I can&#8217;t stick up for myself better. Sometimes I just wish I could die. I want a true friend more than anything in the world.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Remember,&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Healthy-Transitions-Girls-Strength-Based-Professionals\/dp\/0615727557\/ref=pd_sim_14_1\/147-6898106-5986632?_encoding=UTF8&amp;pd_rd_i=0615727557&amp;pd_rd_r=39653140-f5c9-4cb3-8669-d8d8bf59d111&amp;pd_rd_w=FimCU&amp;pd_rd_wg=mc3zA&amp;pf_rd_p=bab57536-7c8f-4781-a8ed-3e270b9cd303&amp;pf_rd_r=9M6ZAYEPG3NGGQG8M4RA&amp;psc=1&amp;refRID=9M6ZAYEPG3NGGQG8M4RA\"><em>Healthy Transitions for Girls<\/em><\/a> can help!&nbsp; Use <em>Healthy Transitions for Girls to help <\/em>girls learn to set boundaries, learn coping skills, and learn how to build supportive friendships.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/peggymcfarland.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/430F4B1F-089B-4FEC-AB07-4E18FCDE6551-410x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1166\"\/><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dr. Joy Miller PhD., LCPC, Joy Miller &amp; Associates, Private Practice, identified the following labels for the roles girls play in groups. Help your daughter to ask the herself the following questions: &#8220;Which of these roles am I playing in my group of friends?&#8221; &#8220;Do&nbsp;<a class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/walkonwatercoaching.com\/?p=200\">&hellip;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-200","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationship","category-navigating-media"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/walkonwatercoaching.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/200","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/walkonwatercoaching.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/walkonwatercoaching.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/walkonwatercoaching.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/walkonwatercoaching.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=200"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/walkonwatercoaching.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/200\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/walkonwatercoaching.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=200"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/walkonwatercoaching.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=200"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/walkonwatercoaching.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=200"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}